Wearing Out

The triple header was a TERRIBLE idea. I totally underestimated the physical and emotional drain of having to be polite and charming and “on” three nights in a row. I feel a bit bad about how that worked out for the Saturday night with Cute Chinese Guy, but then again, I think it was heading south on its own anyway. Here’s the rundown:

After staying up a bit late Friday night at Bodega, I had a terrible time sleeping on Saturday morning. I can’t seem to sleep passed 6 am anymore, because of this dang job of mine. So The Sister and I ran around all morning and afternoon, shopping and having sushi for lunch. I then ran home for a quick nap before the WeHo arts walk thingy that I was meeting friends at around 5pm. That was actually fun, and we wandered around Robertson Blvd. checking out high-end galleries and home-furnishing stores and filling up on free wine and margaritas. Everything that took place on Saturday, mind you, took place in the first real heat of the year here in LA – probably somewhere in the upper 80s in town.

From the art walk I went directly to dinner with CCG. We had decided to meet for Korean food in K Town before the concert, since it was in that neighborhood. I was already drained at this point, but trying to keep up my energy level. Neglecting to drink coffee turned out to be a big mistake. We sat, ordered food and drummed up some date conversation. (I apologize, I’m about to get bitchy, but I’ll explain why later) CCG asks ENDLESS quesitons, and ends every single one of them with the word “huh”. It hadn’t bothered me that much so far, but each time he said it on Saturday night, I found myself hating it a little more. Example: "This concert's gonna be fun tonight, huh?" "You really like to watch TV, huh?" "You're a very organized kinda person, huh?" That, coupled with this compulsive need to use everything I said to create some blanket statement about my personality in general was close to putting me over the edge.

Then we went to the show. By this time, I'm so tired that I can't stop yawning. Fortunately we had actual seats, so I didn't have to try to maintain an upright posture. Halfway through the show, I realized that if the situation were different, I would be worrying about the hand-holding dilemma. Remember going on movie dates in middle and high school and sitting there the whole time, wondering if you should be holding hands or not? I realized that the thought never even crossed my mind with CCG (MNB is a different story), and that I felt sorta guilty about that. But not guilty enough to do anything about it. I actually ended up dozing off a little during the headlining band, I could hardly keep my eyes open. Not that it wasn't a good show, I was just SO DANG TIRED.

We had taken seperate cars, because I was planning on still trying to make my friend The Republican's party, so he gave me a ride to where I had parked my car about a block and a half away. There was the obligatory goodnight kissing, which I was trying to speed through in the interest of not falling asleep at the wheel on my way home. Then he did this weird thing, where he put his hand on me, right in the area of my sternum. I didn't know if this was a water-testing pre-grope move or what, but that got me moving out of the car pretty quickly. I told him I'd give him a call.

Now I know that I'm coming across badly in this post, but there's a good reason for it. When I realize that something is not working with someone, I always start to nit-pick and find fault in them. I think it's just my psyche's way of distancing myself from a person so that I can be okay with breaking it off. So realizing that I'm doing that with CCG is telling me that it's time to end it.

Lyrics of the Day
"This is our last goodbye, I hate to feel the love between us die. But it's over." Jeff Buckley Last Goodbye