My mood today is:
I'm not going to beat myself up for overreacting, because I'm pretty sure that I didn't. From all angles - and believe me, I examined each of them - my boss was trying to tell me that he wanted to give the job that I've been working so hard for to someone else. So I stewed and I ruminated and I agonized and I lost sleep. Finally I decided that I needed to share my feelings with my boss and plead my case one more time, before any irreversible damage was done. This morning I approached him, asked if I could talk to him in a little bit, and continued to imagine the conversation in my head until I was actually able to sit down with him in his office.
I'm not sure I would call it back-peddaling on his account, but the end result of that conversation is that my job is not actually in any danger. After my nervous statements about feeling like my hard work didn't mean anything, and that I didn't want to feel like I had to be in direct competition with my coworker - who could still use my help a lot of the time - he painted a very different picture than the one he had painted on Wednesday morning. My conclusion on the whole drama is this: he wanted to scare me, he wanted to make me question my status. I feel that somehow he had gotten the idea that I was becoming complacent, that I felt no true urgency to take the exam to obtain my official certification and that he needed to light a fire under my ass. By making me believe I could be displaced, he could make sure that I was really going to take my exam as soon as I am humanly able. Of course, this was always my plan - I wanted to take the exam much sooner than I am able to, but there are stringent requirements that must be met before I am allowed to do so. Once those requirements have been fulfilled (or close enough to be fibbed a little), I will take the exam immediately. I guess that the Boss Man just wanted to make sure that was the case.
I feel like I should be a bit pissed about this. I know that he was intentionally manipulating me to get what he wants. But I'm so overwhelmed with a sense of relief that I can't actually work up the energy to be angry about it. Suffice to say, that this LASingleGirl is going to stick around LA a bit longer, and hopefully will have many more tales of dating misadventure with which to entertain you.
6 months ago