Monday, June 12, 2006

He's Just Not That Into Me

I've been procrastinating this post, because I'm having a hard enough time accepting it and now I've also got to broadcast it to the world. I never really thought about how little fun it would be to deal with any form of heartbreak in such a public forum, and here I am, about to do it.

As you've probably guessed at this point, I did not see My New Boyfriend over the weekend. I did go out and drown my sorrows on Friday night (And managed to pick up a bartender! So at least this little drama isn't destroying the mojo I've been building up over the last month), which is an insane little story all its own. I'll post separately about my crazy weekend antics, so that we can stay on-topic here.

I tend to have very rigid ideas about etiquette and politeness, especially about such things as how to treat people that you are dating. I know that this world is full of people that do the Blow Off Thing and the Fade Away Thing, but I've resolved not to create bad dating karma in that way and I've been very good and honest with people. MNB apparently does not have such strict ideas about dating politeness. When you've made play it by ear plans with someone for a Saturday night, and you say that you'll call them on Saturday to let them know, you should really CALL THEM BEFORE 5:30 PM. What if I had really thought that we might go out, and was sitting around all day long, just waiting for him to call. My realistic "polite time" to call by would have been no later than 3:00. The dealbreaker time that I secretly held in my head was 5:00. He blew it all right out of the water by waiting until 5:30. I'm sure he's not intentionally being a dick, at least I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that's just freaking rude.

Worse, the conversation that resulted from that very late phone call was awful. I had so much pent up frustration that I wasn't allowing myself to express that I didn't even know how to talk to him. I was also really bothered by the way he played it. He acted as if he was aware that what he was doing was rude, but didn't care one bit. He also acted as if it was a forgone conclusion that we weren't going out - that I was supposed to have already figured it out in all the time he gave me to think about it. Then he asks if I'm still up for the concert on Wednesday. I say (and yes, I was trying to be a little snide here) that if he thinks he has time for it, I'd still be up for going. He says yes, he's sure he will. So I tell him to call me in a couple of days for finalization - and then he says, "I'll let you know if anything changes." Right.

I'm not sure what it was that made him realize that he doesn't really like me, because I didn't do anything strange or different after the cancelled Wednesday night date. But no matter, because he's lost interest and there's not a dang thing I can do about it. I'm reluctant to even waste my time going to the concert with him, but I figure I'll just do it anyway on the off-chance that he'll realize how truly fabulous I am and propose marriage. If not, I'm going to try to force him to man-up and tell me that he doesn't want to date me, instead of avoiding the subject and slowly disappearing.


I wish that I had better news to give you all, but this is just the way things are working out. I should have warned everyone right off the bat that I have a pathological attraction to unavailable men, so chances were actually pretty good that this was going to happen. I'm just going to open my options back up again and continue The Search.

Lyrics of the Day
"Now there's no welcome look in your eyes when I reach for you, and now your're starting to criticize little things I do. It makes me just feel like crying baby, 'cause baby, something in you is dying." The Righteous Brothers You've Lost That Loving Feeling


Papa jon said...


One of the great unwritten laws of dating! We all should know this.

I'm sorry kiddo!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel. I was dating this guy and everything was perfect...then out of the blue he won't call me anymore. I don't know what I did. It sucks.