I guess that I've come to a sort of conclusion. Unfortunately, the conclusion is that I cannot come to a conclusion.
As a couple of you commented, maybe space is what I need. I actually know that it's what I need (and something that has been in terrifyingly short supply over the last 6 months or so), and I'm coming to a decision about how to get it.
PC and I are leaving Ohio on Saturday, July 26. There will then be 3 or 4 weeks until I am to start a new job in another city, which I will be spending in Montana with my family. During this time, PC and I are negotiating a way to spend some significant time apart. I'm hoping for two weeks to process and get a chance to get some perspective.
Maybe I sound foolish, but I feel like I can't fully make an informed and rational decision on the future of this relationship (or lack thereof), without getting a chance to truly reflect on my own thoughts and feelings. I just can't get that with PC giving me puppy dog eyes and insisting that we're perfect for each other every moment of every day. He means well, but he just doesn't know how to drop it.
So there's limbo right now. Waiting and seeing.
Lyrics of the Day
"I'm starting to feel we stay together out of fear of dying alone." Death Cab For Cutie You Can Do Better Than Me
* Special thanks to Chris for the link to the Gibbard song - and a Death Cab lyric today as a bit of an ode!
6 months ago