Friday, August 11, 2006

My Big Mistake

There is something dangerous about hooking-up on vacation. It's not that you're a stranger in a strange land, or that you could get roofie'd when your back is turned, or that you could end up in a bathtub full of ice with a strange abdominal incision. It's that you could make a major, catastrophic mistake:

You could hook up with someone you actually like.

At that point, you're just doomed. Because obviously you're never going to see him again. Most likely he's forgotten about you by the time he recovers from his hangover the next morning. Probably he couldn't even remember your name by the time you said goodnight. So what do you do?

First, you look him up in your high school yearbook. You look at his junior picture and his senior picture, taking a little bit of pride in the fact that he was both older than you and cooler than you in high school. You reminisce about how he looks now, and how he looked just before he kissed you in the middle of the crowded bar. Then you hop online, surfing to the "search" page on MySpace, even though you know you shouldn't. You type in his name and hold your breath. Nothing. You realize that you managed to hook up with the only 20-something guy on the planet who is not on MySpace. You briefly consider checking Friendster and too, but you know you've already crossed the Creepy Stalking Line enough for one night.

It is then that you realize it. You've gone and done the dumbest thing you could do to yourself. You've turned a fun night of casual making-out in public into an imaginary idea of a possible relationship. You know it's wrong, you know it's impossible, you know he's moving to London to get a master's in International Relations. But you think about it anyway. You realize that he fulfills your Unavailable Man pattern perfectly, but that won't stop you from obsessing over him.

On the bright side, your Big Mistake has reminded you of two very important things: there are guys out there that you can find both interesting and attractive and that you can be attractive to them as well. So it's not a total loss.

Plus, I've never been one to turn down a good make-out session.

Lyrics of the Day

"And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss. So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it. But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split. The love I sell you in the evening, by the morning won't exist." Bright Eyes Lua


Dina said...

I am doing the same thing you are! internet dating is horrible isnt it. Makes me want to stay single forever. I am in the midst of writing a nonfiction book about my experiences and just started blogging to display my journey. I will keep you bookmarked...
Mine is

Good luck in your journey

restaurant gal said...

Doesn't sound like total disaster to me!

The Gal