Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Celeb List

Last night I was catching up on Entourage (having been at a barbecue on Sunday night, and thus unable to watch it during its original airing), and there was a story line involving the idea of having a list of celebrities that are, well, exempt from the rules of cheating on your significant other. In other words, you and your S.O. make lists (traditionally 5 celebs each) and if you ever had the opportunity to sleep with anyone on your list, you would be allowed to. Apparently, this idea insinuated itself into my subconscious, because this is who I spent my sleeping hours with last night:

This is one of the many Men of My Dreams - Jeremy Sisto.

Even if I were in a relationship, I think I would have a hard time turning that down. But this begs the question: how exactly does one go about formulating such a list? There's actually an entire Friends episode concerning this subject, and it illustrates my fears: what if you leave someone off the list, but you end up with the chance to sleep with them?

This may seem like a small problem to some but for me, this is a critical issue. Should the list contain the 5 celebrities with whom I am the most fixated? Or should they be the 5 people that seem to be the most realistic? Should age range and marital status play a factor? Because obviously, if we're talking realism, I can't really list Johnny Depp - although he did recently purchase a house near my home town, he doesn't seem like the type to cheat on his supermodel S.O. with a small-town Montana girl. What ever is a girl to do?

A lot of me leans toward creating a list of celebrities that could at least be remote possibilities. As much as I want to put George Clooney at the top of that list, I know that would be shooting far too high. So I'm going to go out on a limb here and create a sample list, just for the fun of it. But keep in mind that this list is not binding, and I am free to change my mind at any time.

1. Jeremy Sisto

2. Dash Mihok

3. Timothy Olyphant

4. Ryan Reynolds

5. Jason Behr

Okay, so maybe it's not 100% realistic (Tim Olyphant has been married forever and has 3 kids - but I've been lusting after him for so long, I couldn't leave him off the list), and it's creepy that Alanis Morissette has dated two of the people on the list, but it's fairly representative of the types of celebs that I develop ridiculous grade-school crushes on. So if I am, in fact, going to cheat on you Dear Readers - it will be with one of the above, devastatingly attractive, men.

Lyrics of the Day

"Well, I know I don't know you and you're probably not what you seem. Aw, but I'd sure like to find out, so why don't you climb down off that movie screen?" Counting Crows Mrs. Potter's Lullaby

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