Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Nerve

Back to the question of dating on Nerve.com. It's hard for me to describe the way that I feel about reading the bloggers on Nerve. It's some kind of geeky fan-girl groupie gut-reaction. I literally fall in love with these people and with their stories. Their lives seem so far away, yet so close. The funniest thing (well, to me) is that I didn't even start reading the Nerve dating blogs until after I started writing this one. I would have undoubtedly been influenced even more by the style of the writers, so I think it's good that it worked out that way. Plus, those blogs are far less family-friendly than this one. And they're not anonymous, which is a little unnerving (ha ha, no pun intended).

Ever since becoming completely addicted to the Blog-A-Log (it's listed under my Blog links if anyone is curious), I've had a semi-secret growing desire to be one of their bloggers. I'm not sure if my life is racy or entertaining enough, or if I have enough to say that would interest the [ridiculously jaded] audience of the site. But I do really want to give it a shot. The problem is, I've dated through Nerve before, and the results were less than spectacular.

The first guy that I met was Computer Geek. I actually still refer to him that way, though it's not meant to be disparaging. He was very sweet and very intelligent. He wrote witty, well-composed emails. We had things in common. He was a video game QA guy (meaning he played video games for a living, testing them for bugs and such), and he rode a motorcycle. Unfortunately, when we met in person, it all fell apart. He was one of the oh-so-many guys that you can meet on the internet who are great over email but awkward and inept in person. There was nothing wrong with him, per se, but trying to carry on a conversation was excruciating. There were long gaps between subjects and I was constantly scrambling for new things to ask, new things to say. After two lackluster dates, we called it quits.

The other guy that I met on Nerve was The Philosopher. Again, wonderful over email, though there were tons of red flags that I knew I was ignoring when I decided to go out with him. He was significantly younger than I am (a bad pattern that I was finally able to break after things were done with him), he was barely out of college and just starting to find his way in the world, and he was extremely inexperienced in many, um, matters of the heart. We went on one date, where it was again revealed that I really get excited about guys who can write an email but end up being unable to participate in the kind of vocal sparring that I love.

I immediately developed a bias and assumed that it was the population of Nerve that was the problem, and not me. But in retrospect, I think that I may have gotten that backwards. You see, I never really actively pursued anyone on Nerve. I just let the few guys that were interested email me, and I responded. Nerve charges a fee on a per-credit basis, and I just never felt like spending the money. But I know that if I really do want to pursue the opportunity to blog for Nerve, then I have to get my hands dirty and my wallet open.

Lyrics of the Day

"So you just sit on your hands and quietly contemplate your next bold move. The next thing you're gonna need to prove to yourself." Ani DiFranco Your Next Bold Move

2 comments:

Steven said...

You said:"Nerve charges a fee on a per-credit basis, and I just never felt like spending the money. But I know that if I really do want to pursue the opportunity to blog for Nerve, then I have to get my hands dirty and my wallet open."

Wow,sounds like this place is expensive. Glad I decided to keep my site free after doing alot of research on dating services. Hope you are finding yourself engaging in the process and maybe making some contacts, but be cautious while doing so, but your a smart lady and you know that already. "Good Luck"

LB said...

Sadly, Steven, it's true. Unless you use Craiglist, all of the well-known dating sites charge a fee. eHarmony is actually the most expensive that I've seen, so Nerve will feel like a break after my experience there.