Friday, January 26, 2007

Etiquette - Revisited

During the seemingly endless string of delays that seems to be surrounding my possibly-impending date with Montana Guy, I have been thinking a lot about dating etiquette again. I don't know if this is due to the fact that I maybe might possibly have a date in the near future or not - but a thousand thoughts have been swirling around in my pointy little head.

When I embarked on this dating adventure initially, I promised myself that I was going to honor the Gods of Dating Karma™ by doing the kind and honorable thing whenever confronted with the need for politely rejecting someone. I told myself that no one likes the brush-off method and that people would rather just be told straight up that I'm not interested.

But was I wrong?

I was reading in another blog recently that not responding to an email from a party that you're not interested in is the best way to go. That no one wants to receive a "thanks but no thanks" email back and that they'd rather get nothing at all. I always thought that I was being considerate by sending a "no thanks" email, but when I thought about it more I realized that I received more negative responses to those emails than I would have received had I done nothing at all.

Then today, in my state of mild boredom, I was reading over Constant Dater's old posts and found a particularly interesting one featuring her take on dating etiquette.

Constant states that it's perfectly acceptable, nay, preferable for someone to use the Unreturned Phone Call / Email as a method of getting the point of rejection across. And you know what? At this point, I'm inclined to start to agree with her. I don't know if anyone remembers this rejection, but it still breaks my heart every time I think about it.

So is she right? Is that really the best way to go when matters of the heart are concerned? What do you guys think?

Lyrics of the Day

"Manners, ain't nothing wrong with having manners. Show respect and some courtesy." Third World Manners


Lady Latte said...

I was under the impression that proper etiquette is to send a no thank you and tried it for a while. Eventually it got to be a lot of work and I gave up.

The biggest downside to the no-rejection route is that some of the guys seem to assume this means I just didn't get their message, that it's lost out in cyberspace, and they send me several more messages that pile up until I finally have to send a "no thanks" (which is often then met with hostility). At least it weeds out the freaks, I guess.

B said...

If the guy was nice and had good manners during your date, I believe the right thing to do is to send a courtesy reply. Keeping people hanging is just bloody immature. It just shows a lack of respect on your part.

Of course if the guy doesn't stop after that email, then you have full liberty to ignore/block him out.

I am surprised at the excuses which people (both men and women) come up with for their bad manners.