Humiliation

I was discovered on Match.com by someone I work with. I could cry, I'm so embarrassed. I tried to ignore him, but he eventually emailed me, making it impossible to do so. AND, on the day he emailed me (yesterday, that is) I ran into him TWICE at the hospital. I generally see him about once every week or week and a half, and there he was, twice on this one horrible day.

So I emailed Work Guy back, and said, "Wait a second, don't we work together?" He replied saying that he was waiting for me to figure that out. He then wrote AGAIN, saying "Just because we work together doesn't mean we can't talk, right?"

I haven't replied yet, but: YES. It does mean that we can't talk. Even if I did want to date someone I work with (which I try strenuously to avoid at all costs), I'm not interested in him. And now he knows WAY too much about me.

LA is such a stupidly small town.

Meanwhile, in Cyberspace

So while I've been working through the rigors of the first dates with Tattoo Guy, I have diligently kept up my search/communication on both Match and eHarmony. There were 4 guys that I was talking to in earnest, and now there are 3. The fourth was "JaseMan2theMax" (please try not to vomit on your keyboard). We'll call him "Cute in a Hat Guy". Cute in a Hat Guy and I exchanged about 3 emails on Match, before he emailed asking if I was up for another form of communication: IM or phone. I emailed him back my phone number - this past Tuesday - and that's the last I heard of him. Weird, right?

Also on Match, I'm talking to a cute Chinese guy, who shall heretofore be known as... "Cute Chinese Guy". This one I'm actually excited about. I've always had a thing for cute Asian guys. He's 32, a commercial promo writer for a TV network and seems like a really great guy. The email repore has been good so far, so I'm pretty sure that it will lead to a date.

On eHarmony, I'm talking to 2 different guys. One of them is in Vegas (I decided not to limit myself geographically on eHarmony, just for fun), and the other is here in LA. Vegas Guy seems sweet so far, but he hasn't gotten my heart racing.

The LA guy, I'll call him Tall Guy, because he's 6'4" (!!), contacted me immediately after our match was made, and the communication has moved quickly. We're at the point of openly emailing (that's 4 steps in on eHarmony) and it's been just over 2 days since the match was made. So far, I've REALLY liked everything that he's had to say and I'm pretty excited at the prospect of actually going out with him.

Lyrics of the Day
"I must admit I was charmed by your advances, your advantage left me helplessly into you." Death Cab for Cutie Title Track

Second Date

So the call happened. It happened on the second day. So I guess Tattoo Guy is/was interested. He called asking me to dinner that night (a Thurday night), but I was in the hospital all night and didn't check the message until it was too late. I called him back and we played phone tag for a couple of days, eventually deciding on dinner Tuesday night.

Tattoo Guy picked me up and we went to Thai food in Los Feliz. The food was good and the conversation was just as good as it was on the first date. I could tell that he was impressed with my slightly more put-together appearance. I was glad that I had neither over, nor under-dressed.

We followed up the Thai food with wine at a wine bar up the street. The name was sort of long and contained "Farfalle" which is all I can remember. It was a real wine bar, one for afficionados (unlike the more laid-back, normal-person-friendly Bodega). He chose the wine, which I ended up really enjoying. We talked and talked and continued to have a good time.

Here's the problem: I'm not attracted to him. I'm pretty sure that I couldn't grow to be attracted to him if I tried. There's something that's just too "done" about him, too saleman-like. Too image-oriented. He's trying to be something that he really admires - and he has to TRY to do it. The lack of attraction was further emphasized (to my chagrin) by the goodnight kiss. I really think that the kiss it the chemistry tell-all. It can mislead you sometimes; seem good for awhile, then grow tiresome. But if it's bad at the start, it will stay that way.

It was not a good goodnight kiss. It reminded me too much of my bad middle school drama experience, which I forever refer to as "the wet plunger". I hope that you get the gist. It wasn't AS bad, but it wasn't sexy or filled with chemistry either. Damn.

My thought is: One more date. Tattoo Guy is so much fun, that I think he deserves one more date before I make a decision. If I'm still sure that I won't ever be attracted - then I'll be honest at the end of the date. If chemistry strikes, chemistry strikes. I'm really trying to learn to give people a real chance.

Lyrics of the Day
"You're kinda cool, but I know better than to break the rules of messing with a lesson that I've never learned." Anna Nalick Consider This

The Call

For some reason, I figured that Tattoo Guy would call the day after. I guess I underestimate the game playing. So I figured that the lack of a call the second and the fact that he didn't even try to kiss me at the end of the first date meant that he wasn't that interested. And to be honest, I wasn't upset.

Lyrics of the Day
"Oh Christ, I'm not that desperate. Oh no, oh God, I am." Cursive The Recluse

First Date

I went on my first date from Match.com. It was spontaneous and completely unexpected. It was the night that we first talked on the phone. He's a suit by day and a bit of a rocker by night. Let's just call him "Tattoo Guy" from now on.

I knew from the emails that we would have a great repore. We obviously had compatible communication styles. We decided to talk on the phone (something that I've been reluctant to do in the past), and talked for almost 40 minutes before deciding to just up-and-meet for a drink. We live fairly close to each other, so it was convenient.

The bar opened late. We didn't know this at first, but it was a fluke. So we walked to Arby's. That's right. The first date happened at Arby's. It was sorta hilarious. But I took it in stride, because that's what I do. We then moved on to the bar (The Bar, if you're wondering), when it finally opened.

It was an extremely successful first date. No awkward silences. No discomfort. Just some fun, and probably one too many drinks. I decided that I would go out with him again, if he called.

Lyrics of the Day
"I want a lover I don't have to love, I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk." Bright Eyes Lover I Don't Have to Love

First Post

This blog will be a chronicle of this new and only slightly exciting chapter in my dating life. I've decided that I'm going to try internet dating in earnest, and that I should track each step. I'm trying both Match.com and eHarmony, and I have a feeling that the experiences are going to be very different. The sites are run in completely different ways, so I'll make sure to note who I meet on which site. This will ensure that I can trace my missteps, and remember the hilarity of it all. If I spontaneously insert gratuitous song lyrics, I apologize, it's a tendency that I just can't seem to kick.

Lyrics of the Day
"The first time that I met her I was throwing up in the lady's room stall. She asked me if I needed anything, I said I think I spilled my drink. And that's how it started, or so I'd like to believe." The Good Life Album of the Year