Tuesday, May 12, 2009


As much as I am doing to resist analyzing where things are going with Mr. Green, things do seem to be moving forward. Part of me still gets the urge to shift into panic-mode - the part of me that just can't bear the thought of being someone's girlfriend again. But that part of me shuts right up when I'm with Mr. Green; things remain remarkably easy when I'm around him. I'm still not sure that I want to go down the Relationship Road again so fast, but I'm not ruling it out completely.

Things have been progressing. There are little things that you get comfortable with, like holding hands. At first you don't know if you should or not, then you do just a little bit, then it becomes natural when you're walking together. (I am still completely entranced by his hands. They're just big and strong and his knuckles are all scarred. It kills me.) Because of the distance between our places, sleepovers have become assumed. The more I sleep in the same bed with Mr. Green, the less I'm excited about sleeping alone. There's just something that works about sleeping with him. There has been speculation on whether or not I'm seeking out the physical affection just for the sake of it and those are very valid thoughts. But it just doesn't feel that way to me. I wasn't feeling empty or alone or like I was dying to be touched before I started dating Mr. Green. This really all feels like it just happened.

In the public world, Mr. Green and I have been completely busted on our relationship with the kickball crowd.

"But wait - are there some other [Team Name Redacted] who are getting friendly off the field? Looks like [LB] and [Mr. Green] have been spotted leaving Icabod's together... ??? Both were single & looking, neither seems to be anymore... also rumored to have showed up at a party together over the past weekend!"

This is what graced the gossip page of the league newsletter the week of our last regular-season game. Of course they couldn't have stopped there: I scrolled down to find a picture with multiple members of my team in it (that just happened to have Mr. Green and I standing next to each other); the masterminds behind the newsletter photoshopped a heart around our heads and the caption: "[Mr. Green] and [LB]: confirm or deny?!?"

Lyrics of the Day

"I was just bony hands, as cold as a winter pole. You held a warm stone out, new flowing blood to hold. Oh what a contrast you were to the brutes in the halls." The Shins Pink Bullets

1 comment:

Julie said...

My previous comment was based on my own experience after getting out of a long relationship. I found that I missed the steady stream of human contact that came from being in a couple. There were some days where I wasn't touched at all, which was extremely difficult for me. I became even more grateful than usual for hugs from friends.

What is going on with you and Mr. Green certainly seems to be more than just a bit of physical affection. I was just checking :)