I've been absent, and during this time, so much has happened.
I've finally done what many of you have been suggesting - you not knowing exactly what I was doing career-wise and why I was doing it. The traveling job gig was good, but in November I saw an online posting for a permanent job that seemed too good to pass up, so I sent my resume in.
Long-story short I interviewed for, and accepted a permanent job in southwest Florida (where it's WARM). Last weekend, after a nearly-3000 mile trek from Montana, PC and I arrived in Fort Myers, Florida to put down some roots and really see how things will be.
Pertaining to my last post: I think that I was displacing feelings. It's very difficult for me to compartmentalize completely and I tend to take just about everything out on whoever is around me at the time. Unluckily for PC, he's always there and is an easy target for my negative emotions. Though I'm still not sure how (or if) things will go for us, I'm now more conscious of where my feelings are coming from and try to check myself when I'm being unnecessarily negative. This is not to say that I'm completely sure about us now, but I'm now being more realistic and I'm willing to see how it plays out from here.
As you know, we have not really had a chance to test the relationship in any normal-life situation. Beyond the usual relationship trials and tribulations, we've had innumerable outside stresses that have made things tougher than they probably would have been had we met when we were both in stable situations. And it is entirely possible that I am off-base and that things will still be just as difficult and as much of a struggle now that we're going to be settled for the foreseeable future. But maybe not. Maybe this stability will show me (and us) that we really do want to be together and that we can do it realistically in a real-life setting.
So now we're in a wait and see situation. We are settling (as of last Saturday) into this beautiful place, with amazing weather (there's a cold-front moving through - it may get down to 50 degrees! And that's COLD for SW FL.), and great people so far. I'm liking my new job, PC has a job or 3 so far and it's ridiculously cheap to live down here. I'm hoping that I like it enough to look into buying a house toward the end of this year (while the market is still tanked) and we're going to take this time to see how the relationship is really going to play out. I can't lie. I can't tell you that I'm sure that it will go either way. But for now, things are pretty good and I'm willing to give it a bit longer to feel sure that I know which way it should go.
Lyrics of the Day
"Well she tapped me on the shoulder, she said, "Lets go inside, 'cause I've been looking all day long for someplace good to hide. We can ride it out, we can ride it downtown." Joe Purdy Cinderella and the A-Train
6 months ago