In all of my dating and relationship experience, I never truly understood the point of settling down with one person. I've never seen the purpose of giving up your freedom to center your life around one other person, for better or for worse. I mean, theoretically I wanted these things, but I didn't really understand why they were so important. Why would anyone want to compromise all of their personal preferences and goals and dreams just to avoid the not-so-horrible fate of sleeping alone?
But I get it now. And I don't mean the compromising part. What I am just now understanding is that you can want to be with one person, but that it's possible to do this without compromising anything. What lead to this astonishing revelation? Possibly the best weekend EVER.
I didn't mean to leave the blog hanging on my anxiety-ridden Fear-Of-Commitment post last week. I meant to write on my birthday (which was Thursday) about how lucky and loved I ended up feeling, but I ran out of time to do so. Then Prince Charming arrived on Friday night and all my thoughts of writing left my mind.
Even if I were to get as cheesy as I possibly could, I don't think I could fully convey the wonder of this weekend. I have never had this kind of experience - I'm still nearly reeling from the perfection of it all. I was really nervous picking Prince Charming up from the airport on Friday night. I didn't know if things would be awkward or if the initial attraction had been fleeting or if I would be able to make the weekend worth his taking four days off of work and flying all the way across the country. But just as those first three days that we spent together were so magically comfortable and amazing, my initial nervousness was unfounded and soon disappeared.
The initial attraction was not fleeting. I have never been so attracted to anyone in my entire life. And that feeling was just as strong by the end of the weekend as it was when the weekend began - if not stronger. But that wasn't the most amazing thing: it was everything else that was so surprising. Every single thing that we did together all weekend was so much fun and so effortless. We drank champagne and went to IHOP and took the Metro to Baltimore's Inner Harbor. We went for a three mile run, we watched "How I Met Your Mother" and he cooked me dinner (damn good dinner too!). Never once did I feel uncomfortable or like I couldn't be myself or like my personal space was being invaded. It was just incredible.
I don't want to get ahead of myself (well, I do, but I'm trying not to), but I think this one is going to last. I'm not predicting marriage or anything insane like that, but we're both in this for the long term. How do I know this? Because he told me so. He doesn't hide his thoughts or feelings or try to play games. He believes in honesty and full-disclosure and I don't have a doubt in my mind how he feels about me. This relationship will probably get a bit expensive: I'm going to fly him back out here in a few weeks, but it's absolutely worth it. I get it now. I get how couples can be each other's best friend and want to do everything together. I have very little experience with this type of thing, but I think I could be falling in love.
It's funny. Everyone always said that you find someone once you stop looking, that love comes along when you least expect it. I was becoming so cynical and part of me was starting to prepare for the possibility of never finding anyone. Then, as I prepared to radically change my life, I really did stop looking. And that was all it took.
Lyrics of the Day
"Don't know why I'm still afraid, if you weren't real I would make you up now." Joseph Arthur Honey and the Moon
6 months ago