Monday, February 01, 2010

Lucky

How can I sum up what is now happening in my life without resorting to tired cliches or sounding like a Nicholas Sparks novel? Well, kids, I'm not entirely sure that I can. But, as usual, I'm going to give it the old college try. (Cliche #1. You can make this into a game. Every time I use a hopeless cliche, take a drink! You can then judge me as a writer by how drunk you are able to get by the end of this post.)

Remember when I talked about selling out? It's done. It's sold. It's been wrapped up, the shop's closed, the lights have been turned out. Whatever idea I had in my head regarding the noble cynicism of remaining single for-e-ver, it no longer applies to me. This is not to say that I'm a full convert to the side of marriage and coupling up. I'm not. I still think that it's beyond stupid to be in a relationship for the sake of not being alone and I can't even imagine the idea of deciding to marry someone that you have even the tiniest of doubts about. But I think I'm managing to defy the odds here. And here is where I go all sorts of sappy on you...

You know all those things that you're supposed to feel about the person that you choose to spend your life with? That they're your best friend, that you would support them in anything, that you would take a bullet for them, that they are the best, most wonderful person ever to walk the earth? Yeah. I feel those things. It's seriously embarrassing to see them laid out on the page like this, but it's all true. These are the feelings that I always thought I should be feeling for other men in my life; these are the feelings that I spent a good deal of time faking or convincing myself would come. Loving someone just for who they are? Check. Not wanting to imagine your life without them? Check. Wanting to become that cute old couple holding hands in the park? Check, checkity check.

(I hope you're drinking! Or throwing up in your mouth. I couldn't blame you.)

Someone commented on my last post, curious as to what is different about Joe Montana. Well, pretty much all of the above. But some of it is also base compatibility. We have a ton in common, but we also compliment each other. Where I'm high-strung, he's laid back. Where he gets stressed, I am calm and confident. There has always been space for one of us to be the cheerleader when the other needs a boost. It's pretty amazing actually. There is also nothing abusive or manipulative in his behavior - something that has been a problem for me in the past. I won't belabor the point, but everything that raised red flags early on in my last relationship has been completely absent here.

So now is the time for steps. The most exciting step is that Joe Montana is about to become Joe Florida. Well, I'm not actually changing his name, but he is changing locations. JM is joining me in Florida and he should be here, fittingly, by Superbowl Sunday. This step, moving in with him, means more than it may seem. After my last disaster, I vowed never again to have a live-in boyfriend. I am now of the mind that moving in together should not be a rung on the relationship ladder that falls between dating exclusively and getting married. I think that, for me at least, moving in together can't be a trial period or something that you do so that you can delay having to make the decision of whether or not you want to marry someone. To me, moving in means that a bigger commitment is already made. And I'm making that commitment. Taking that step.

The next step is a step away. I think that I have outgrown this particular space. There are no longer many misses in my adventures and there certainly isn't any more internet dating. This doesn't mean that I'm abandoning you all or that I'm done indulging my latent narcissism anonymously. It just means that I think I'm going to shift my focus and my location. I haven't done anything definitive yet, and you'll be the first to know when I do, but the move is coming. I hope you'll take this step with me.

Lyrics of the Day

"So if you wanna be with me, with these things there's no telling, we'll just have to wait and see. But I'd rather be working for a paycheck than waiting to win the lottery. Besides maybe this time it's different, I mean I really think you like me." Bright Eyes First Day of My Life

9 comments:

HB said...

I am so happy for you! I can't wait to read about the next chapter. :)

Suz said...

I am delighted. :) Congratulations!

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Tiia Jones said...

I enjoyed looking at your blog and reading back over past postings. It sounds like you have met a good one, and I'm really happy for you! I hope my internet dating adventures lead to as great a success. Thanks for sharing.

Rebecca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dating said...

I am embarassed :) Congratulations!

Asian Internet Dating said...

Pretty Lucky you there! :) Nice article...would wait to read more from you!

Laundramatic said...

still checking back to read more!

-L