I'm a complete fool when it comes to going on dates with guys that I end up not being attracted to. If you've been reading here for any significant amount of time, you may have figured this out by now. I am completely weak when it comes to rejecting someone that I find to be funny, kind and intelligent but who I know is not the guy for me.
Case in point: Montana Guy.
We had a ton to talk about, what with going to the same college and growing up in the same area and even living in the same area in LA. He's very sweet and has interesting things to say and listens well in turn. But as I said before, I am absolutely not romantically interested in him. Seeing as how I wasn't sure that the "date" was a date in the first place, I felt fairly secure in saying that we should "hang out again sometime" and that would be read in a platonic fashion.
But now I'm not so sure.
He called me a couple days after the coffee date and I delayed calling him back because I was horrendously sick and I hate to talk to people when I'm sick (except my mama, because she always makes me feel better). We traded calls a few days later and eventually connected to discuss hanging out again. I may be paranoid here, but for some reason it sorta felt more like making arrangements for a Date this time, rather than the confusion that was going on before. Either way, we made plans to have drinks tomorrow night.
There once was a time that I vowed to stop going on dates that I didn't want to go on. Somewhere along this journey, I completely lost sight of that. I'm not saying that I don't want to meet Montana Guy for drinks tomorrow night - I just don't want it to be a date. Maybe in my future surroundings (wherever the wind may blow me), I'll be better at avoiding unwanted dates. Maybe not. I'm not so good with change here people.
At this point my saving grace is that fact that I'm leaving. It will allow me to avoid any possibility of having to reject Montana Guy, if he is in fact interested. It also allows for a graceful conclusion to my relationship with The Kid, which may not have happened otherwise. Further more it will allow The Sister and I some much needed apart time, we grow sick of each other far too quickly these days and we really could use the time apart.
In the coming weeks, it's going to be difficult for me to write about much of anything without bringing up my impending departure or speculating on what could lie ahead for me. I hope that you'll bear with me on this, because I'm thinking that the light holds some pretty fantastic stories at the end of this tunnel.
Lyrics of the Day
"I drank from a faucet and I kept my receipts for when they weigh me on my way out (Here nothing is free.)." Death Cab For Cutie Why You'd Want to Live Here
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6 years ago
1 comment:
Good for you girl! Sometimes change is a really good thing for personal growth. It's so easy to hole up somewhere and grow comfortable. I applaude your courage.
I wanted yo comment also about the not guys you aren't attracted to type thing. I know exactly what you mean. In college I hated a HOT guy. He could look at me and my stomache would jump. We really had little in common other than that wonderful chemistry and after a few months broke up.
I ended up daying a really sweet and funny guy who I was NOT AT ALL attrcted to and probably would not have given the time of day under normal circumstances. That's not to say he was bad looking-just not my type... not sparks. Anyway, his sweetness and persistance wore me down and I gave him a chance. I remember telling a friend on the phone that this was just a "rebound" thing.
I ended up dating him for three years and truly will consider him one of my great loves, maybe even my first true love. The attraction grew from nowhere maybe, but I think that the deepest and most satisfying attractions/relationships of all spring from those where it is slow to smolder and developes.
Just food for thought.
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